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Hank Quote-a-Thon!

amstertijn — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:34:03 CDT

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Candor Is His Middle Name

You never know what's going to come out of Hank's mouth: from scathing one-liners to jaded verbal diarrhea, he's got an arsenal of words aimed steadily at anyone who triggers them -- even complete strangers! Gather up your collection of laugh-out-loud, lewd, priceless, OMG! quotes and share them here. Click the EasyEdit button to add your favorite zingers!

User name: Sugarboots Location: Seattle, WA	My favorite Hank line: "To quote The Clash, should I stay or should I rock the casbah?" Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction: I think this line is genius!
User name: Sugarboots Location: Seattle, WA	My favorite Hank line: You can't snort a line of coke off a woman’s a and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it's not gentlemanly. Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction**: Well put, Hank. I think that's true!
User name: MiaWantsMe Location: Santa Monica, CA	My favorite Hank line: B***s. Said to: Charlie His/her reaction: Nods approval. My immediate reaction: B***s, indeed.
User name: MiaWantsMe Location: Santa Monica, CA	My favorite Hank line: You're looking at me like I just finger-b**d your cat. Said to: Meredith His/her reaction: Sting. My immediate reaction**: He probably shouldn't have said that. What if she's like a "cat lady"?
User name: MiaWantsMe Location: Santa Monica, CA	My favorite Hank line: She's got a nose ring too. You know what that means. Said to: Charlie His/her reaction: No, I don't. My immediate reaction: Is it humanly possibly to "take in the nose?"
User name: MiaWantsMe Location: Santa Monica, CA	My favorite Hank line: She's beyond ballsy. Said to: Charlie His/her reaction: You are correct. My immediate reaction: That word, ballsy, really does describe Mia Lewis.
User name: Touchmymully Location: Jackson, MI	My favorite Hank line: Oh, look at the time.... The big hand says Fk, and the little hand says Off..... Good thing there's not a second hand. I'm goin' in. Said to: The receptionist outside Charlie's office His/her reaction: What could he say? You can't come back from a line a sweet as that. My immediate reaction**: Hank, I want to be you.
User name:Docturnal Location:	My favorite Hank line: "So not only are you a cadaverous slut, but you also have sh*y taste in movies" Said to: Sandy Carr (Caramel coated, chrome domed directors wife) His/her reaction: ouch and anger My immediate reaction**: damn, classic.
User name:kinetickyle Location: Oklahoma City	My favorite Hank line: I just get so lonely sometimes. I need a hug for a moment and the moment passes. I'm good. Smell you later. Said to: Karen while using her to hide from Sandy Carr at the fundraiser. His/her reaction: Utter confusion and more than a little embarassment. My immediate reaction: When is the next opportunity for me to use that line?
User name:DCALIVE Location:	My favorite Hank line: I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. Said to: An apple computer His/her reaction: its a damn computer My immediate reaction: Absolutely hilarioius. Glad to see Hank writing again, and glad to know to keep him away from my sister
User name: Chariot13 Location: Boston, MA	My favorite Hank line: I love women. I have all their albums. Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction: I hate him. But I love him.
User name:badboygr Location: Greece	My favorite Hank line: A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness Said to: The blog His/her reaction: My immediate reaction: That's a big truth
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: "Hey,Runkulus Maximus" Said to: Charlie His/her reaction: My immediate reaction: Good quote as usual!
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: "Oh, kiss the tip!" Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction: That was funny.
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: Well, you should've called. I wouldn't have answered, but you coulda left a message, which I would've quickly erased. Said to: Bill His/her reaction: None. My immediate reaction: Hilarious.
User name:Sligsixty Location:Brooklyn,NY	My favorite Hank line: Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile you f***g douche! Said to: His reflection His/her reaction: Flashes a huge fake grin. My immediate reaction**: Amazed.
User name: Avrg_joe Location: ep5	My favorite Hank line: "Do you want me to want you to suck my cck" Said to: Bill His/her reaction: change subject My immediate reaction*: Hahahaha Another one to hank
User name: Avrg_joe Location:	My favorite Hank line: "wo wo wo what the fk was that, you just blew me off, you think i can't afford this penile implant on wheels" Said to: car sales lady he screws in the next scene, in the new porsche he buys His/her reaction: typical sales cover up well try to cover up My immediate reaction: what a b** gold digger.
User name: Avrg_joe Location:	My favorite Hank line:[People] seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn, you know. And people don’t write anymore, they blog; instead of talking, they text; no punctuation, no grammar. LOL this and LMFAO that. You know it just seems to me that it’s just a bunch of stupid people psuedo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the king’s English. Said to: Henry Rollins in "LOL" His/her reaction: "Yet you're part of the problem, blogging with the best of them"... Hank's reply, "Hence, my self-loathing" then takes a swig of liquor. My immediate reaction: Nice one.
User name: Avrg_joe Location:	My favorite Hank line:I love all women. I love you. I'll make a run at you... Krusty. I will! Said to: Grocery store clerk His/her reaction: Indifferent, yet annoyed. My immediate reaction: Priceless.
User name: RicGold Location: Manchester, UK	My favorite Hank line: Yo K-Fed, the little man in the boat, he's up here! That's where he is [demonstrates]. Right here... Said to: Husband of the girl in the first scene of the pilot episode His/her reaction: He's too busy arguing with his wife and I don't think he get's it anyway... My immediate reaction: Genius!
User name: omnipredation Location: USA	My favorite Hank line: "Oh, and it'd be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the White album, but I haven't quite mastered that yet." Said to: Bill-bo-Bagins and Karen His/her reaction: Bill shrugs it off as usual and Karen hides a smile.. My immediate reaction: Real men of Genius...
User name: 9Catsz Location: USA	My favorite Hank line: "Smell you later." Said to: Karen His/her reaction: I think she loves it too. My immediate reaction: I love it.
User name: 9Catsz Location: USA	My favorite Hank line: "You sure you don't have a grabass appointment with an alter boy?" Said to: Bill in a dream His/her reaction: "There's plenty of time for that." Then he checks out Hank's package. My immediate reaction: Dayum Hank's funny and I love his nutty dreams.
User name:Jarmusch Location:Romania	My favorite Hank line:"Come again...so to speak!" Said to:Gym girl. His/her reaction:Smile. My immediate reaction:LOL
User name:tequilasunrise7 Location:canada	My favorite Hank line: "What did I do? I handled the f* outta that shit!" Said to: Karen after telling her Becca got her period His/her reaction: My immediate reaction**: laughed my ass off... perfect delivery!
User name: MrMoodysMadness Location:US of A	My favorite Hank line:"Consider yourself defiled.." Said to: Asian broad hes "satisfying" when he has to rescue Becca from the valley party. His/her reaction: "Your an a$$hole" and she throws up a dour face as Hank leaves her in his bed and zooms out the door. My immediate reaction: Im gonna use that line alot, this i know.
User name: MrMoodysMadness Location:US of A	My favorite Hank line: "Rectum... Damn near killed 'em.." Said to: Himself, in reference to the guy in the rascal in episode 1/Season 2. His/her reaction: he smirks. My immediate reaction: "Whats a pro-lapsed rectum?" hahaha.
User name: MrMoodysMadness Location:US of A	My favorite Hank line: "A BRONER!!! An unintentional male inspired bner.. thats the word I'm looking for" Said to:Charlie His/her reaction: Utter amazement and shock as usual. My immediate reaction*: "That's what that's called!!!"
User name: Martijn Location: Amsterdam, Holland	My favorite Hank line:Life is too short to dance with fat girls Said to:dont remember His/her reaction: neither My immediate reaction: Life is all about priorities
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction:
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction:
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction:
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction:
User name: Location:	My favorite Hank line: Said to: His/her reaction: My immediate reaction:

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See also: Californication Caption-off | Californication Alphabet Game | Californication Top Ten Lists

Episode 2 The Great Ashby

hirogeek — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:10:49 CDT

◄ Back: Episode 1, Slip of the Tongue

Back to Californication Season 2

Next: Episode 3 ►

EPISODE 2, "THE GREAT ASHBY"

Episode summary:

Original air date:

Written by:

Tom Kapinos

Directed by:

David Von Ancken

Guest star(s):

Paula Marshall
callum Keith Rennie
Carla Gallo
Rachel Miner
Paul Rae
Alexis Arquette

Notable music:

"Wake Up Time" Tom Petty

TALK ABOUT THIS EPISODE

HOLA, CALIFORNICATION GROUPIES!

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EPISODE BY NUMBERS
	Number of women Hank hooks up with:
	Number of arguments with Karen:
	Number of times Hank crosses the line:
	Number of times Hank's fame gets him something:

HANK'S HARSHEST WISECRACKS

WANNA SEE MORE? CHECK OUT THE HANK QUOTE-A-THON HERE!

Name:

Age:

Occupation:

How they met:

Location of act:

Kink factor:

Pillow talk:

Repercussions:

WANNA SEE MORE? BROWSE THROUGH THE REST OF HANK'S LBB!

PROGRESS ON HANK'S WRITERS BLOCK

PROGRESS ON HANK'S
FAMILY LIFE

HANK VS. HANK

WHICH HANK IS WINNING THIS EPISODE?
SEE THE BATTLE PLAY OUT BELOW!

DEVIL HANK

ANGEL HANK

◄ Back: Episode 1, Slip of the Tongue

Back to Californication Season 2

Next: Episode 3 ►

2

thakurprashant — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 06:26:12 CDT

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Californication Wiki Fan Lit Sweepstakes Official Rules

sugarboots — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:54:27 CDT

CALIFORNICATION Wiki
CALIFORNICATION WIKI FAN LIT SWEEPSTAKES
Official Sweepstakes Rules (the “Rules”)

SPONSOR
This Californication Wiki Fan Lit Sweepstakes (the “Sweepstakes”) is sponsored exclusively by Wetpaint, located in Seattle, Washington (“Sponsor”). Sponsor reserves the right to modify, suspend or cancel the Sweepstakes (with or without notice) at any time and/or to substitute another promotion in its place.

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR RECEIVE A PRIZE IN OR INCREASE CHANCE OF RECEIVING A PRIZE IN THIS SWEEPSTAKES.

Void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted by law. Subject to all applicable federal, state and local laws. This sweepstakes begins at 9:00:01 a.m., Pacific Time (“PT”), on Monday, September 15, 2008, and ends at 11:59:59 p.m PT on Friday, October 10, 2008. (Mail-in entries must be postmarked by October 10, 2008, and will be accepted through October 10, 2008 [the "Promotional Period"].)

WHO CAN PARTICIPATE?
This Sweepstakes is open to all legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and the District of Columbia, U.S. Military personnel (and their families) with APO/FPO addresses, Alaska and Hawaii, who are eighteen (18) years of age or older at the time of entry (void in Puerto Rico and in any other U.S. territories and possessions). Participation in this Sweepstakes constitutes entrant's full and unconditional acceptance of each provision in these Rules.

WHO IS NOT ELIGIBLE TO PARTICIPATE?
Employees and their immediate family members (parents, grandparents, spouses, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, aunts and uncles, regardless of whether living in the same household) and individuals living in their same household (regardless of whether related) of Sponsor, Showtime, and either such entity’s respective parent, subsidiaries, affiliated companies, partners, advertising, marketing and promotion agencies, successors and assignees, are not eligible to enter or receive a prize in this Sweepstakes.

HOW DO I ENTER?
There are two (2) ways to enter this Sweepstakes: (1) online or (2) by mail-in entry.

ONLINE METHOD: Access the Californication Wiki [http://californicationwiki.sho.com] (the “Website”) during the Promotional Period and register for the Sweepstakes by following the instructions found on the Website. Such instructions will require the entrant to (a) register for a username if they don't already have one and (b) add a 25-word recap of season one of Californication as a comment thread during the Promotional Period. A maximum of one (1) Sweepstakes entry for each individual is permitted for online entries. An entrant who exceeds this entry limitation will have each of the multiple submitted, online entries invalidated for prize drawing/consideration hereunder, and such conduct may result in the disqualification of the entrant from any and all participation in this Sweepstakes (as determined by Sponsor in the exercise of its sole discretion). All Internet access and usage charges are the sole responsibility of the entrant. If for any reason the Internet portion of the Sweepstakes is not capable of running as planned, including infection by computer virus, bugs, tampering, unauthorized intervention, fraud, technical failures, or any other cause(s) which corrupts or affects the administration, fairness, integrity, safety or proper conduct of the Sweepstakes, then Sponsor reserves the right, exercisable at any time in its sole discretion, to terminate, modify or suspend the Internet portion of the Sweepstakes. All eligible online entries received by Sponsor before the Internet portion of the Sweepstakes becomes inoperable will be included in the random drawing described in the first paragraph under the “Prize Drawing” section below. Sponsor assumes no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft or destruction or unauthorized access to, or alteration of, any Sweepstakes entries. Sponsor is not responsible for any problems or technical malfunctions of any telephone network or lines, computer online systems, servers or providers, computer equipment, software, failure of any email or entry to be received by Sponsor on account of technical problems or traffic congestion on the Internet or at any website, or any combination thereof, including (without limitation) any injury or damage to entrant's or any other person's computer-related to or resulting from participation or downloading any materials in this Sweepstakes. In the event of a dispute as to the identity of the person who submits any on-line entry hereunder, an eligible electronic Sweepstakes entry will be considered made by the authorized account owner of the email address submitted at the time of entry. Entries generated by robots or scripts or other automated devices are considered to be a direct violation of the Rules and the policies of this Sweepstakes and will result in the immediate and automatic disqualification from this Sweepstakes of any and all associated entries.

MAIL-IN METHOD: A participant additionally may enter the Sweepstakes by printing his/her name, age, complete street/mailing address (including ZIP code), phone number (including area code), and 25 word season one recap in English on a 3 1/2" x 5" card and mailing the completed card, with first-class postage affixed, to: Wetpaint Californication Wiki Fan Lit Sweepstakes, P.O. Box 3082, Seattle, WA 98114. Mail-in Sweepstakes entries must be legible, submitted in original hand-printed form, and contain sufficient postage. A maximum of one (1) mail-in entry per person is permitted. An entrant who exceeds this entry limitation will have each of the multiple submitted, mail-in entries invalidated for prize drawing/consideration hereunder, and such conduct may result in the disqualification of the entrant from any and all participation in this Sweepstakes (as determined by Sponsor in the exercise of its sole discretion). A mail-in entry will be deemed valid and eligible for a prize drawing/consideration hereunder only if the entry is both (a) postmarked by October 10, 2008 and received by Sponsor no later than October 10, 2008 (regardless of the date postmarked).

INVALID ENTRIES; OWNERSHIP OF SWEEPSTAKES MATERIALS
Sweepstakes entries mechanically reproduced or made in any manner other than by (i) following Sponsor’s instructions as set forth on the Website or in any other written communication issued by Sponsor, or by (ii) submitting a 3 1/2" x 5" card as described herein, are invalid and ineligible for any prize drawing/ consideration hereunder. Sponsor is not responsible for any lost, late, misdirected, postage due, damaged, mutilated, illegible, indecipherable, incomplete, inaccurate or deceptive Sweepstakes entries, all of which entries shall be deemed invalid and ineligible for any prize drawing/consideration hereunder. All Sweepstakes entries, together with any and all accompanying or other Sweepstakes-related materials submitted by any Sweepstakes participant hereunder, shall become the exclusive property of Sponsor and will be neither acknowledged nor returned.

FIVE (5) PRIZES SCHEDULED TO BE AWARDED
The prizes scheduled to be awarded in this Sweepstakes (pursuant to the random drawing procedure described in the immediately succeeding paragraph) are:

ONE (1) GRAND PRIZE: Californication gift pack of limited-edition items created by students at the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD); Californication season one DVD set; Californication season one soundtrack. The approximate retail value (“ARV”) of the Grand Prize is $100.00.


"LA" Handmade Journal	"Four-letter Word/“Pay Up” Mug	"4-letter Word/“Pay Up” Coasters

FOUR (4) FIRST PRIZES: Californication season one DVD set; Californication season one soundtrack. The approximate retail value (“ARV”) of the First Prize is $40.00


Californication Season One DVD		Temptation: Music From Californication

The Prizes (or any other prize awarded hereunder) cannot be assigned, transferred, exchanged or redeemed for cash; provided, however, that Sponsor specifically reserves the right (exercisable at any time and for any reason, in Sponsor’s sole discretion) to substitute a different item(s) in place of the Prizes, such substitute item(s) to be of substantially equivalent or greater value than the ARV of the Prizes.

DRAWING FOR PRIZES
During the Promotional Period, eligible Sweepstakes entries received online at the Website will be combined with the eligible mail-in Sweepstakes entries received by Sponsor, in order to create the Sweepstakes entry pool. On approximately October 23, 2008 or on some other date (as determined by Sponsor) following the conclusion of the Promotional Period, eight (8) potential recipients of the Prizes will be selected by means of a random drawing conducted by Sponsor (or its designee) from among all eligible entries contained in the Sweepstakes entry pool. All decisions of Sponsor regarding the Prize drawing and any and all other aspects of the Sweepstakes shall be final, binding and non-appealable. The odds of any Sweepstakes participant receiving a Prize (or any other prize awarded hereunder) will be determined by the total number of eligible Sweepstakes entries received. Such odds are equal regardless of the method of entry into the Sweepstakes. To obtain the name of the actual Prize recipients (available after October 23, 2008), a Sweepstakes participant or other interested person should send a self-addressed, stamped business-size (#10) envelope, postmarked by no later than October 31, 2008, to: Wetpaint Californication Wiki Fan Lit Sweepstakes, P.O. Box 3082, Seattle, WA 98114. Residents of the State of Vermont may omit return postage.

NOTIFICATION OF PRIZE RECIPIENTS; POTENTIAL ALTERNATE PRIZE DRAWING; OBLIGATIONS OF PRIZE RECIPIENTS
Shortly after the above-set forth Prize drawing, Sponsor shall endeavor to notify the potential Prize recipients by means of private message through the Californication wiki, telephone, e-mail, U.S. Mail or overnight courier (as determined by Sponsor in the exercise of its sole discretion). If the potential Prize recipients fail to respond to Sponsor within three (3) business days after such initial notification attempt, or if the potential Prize recipients decline to accept the Prizes, or if any Prize notification or the Prize itself is returned as undelivered, then the potential Prize recipients shall forfeit any and all rights to receive the Prizes, and Sponsor may elect (but shall not be required) to select an alternate potential Prize recipient by means of another random drawing subsequently to be conducted by Sponsor (or its designee) from among all remaining eligible Sweepstakes entries. Furthermore, potential Price recipients and their guest will be required to complete an affidavit of eligibility, a liability release and (where legal) a publicity release, which must be returned by date specified in notification email (or letter) or an alternate winner may be selected. By participating in this Sweepstakes, each entrant hereby irrevocably and in perpetuity defends, indemnifies, holds harmless and releases Sponsor, Showtime, the respective parents, subsidiaries, affiliated companies, advertising, marketing and promotion agencies, successors and assignees of Sponsor and Showtime, and the officers, directors, employees and agents of each of the above-set forth entities, from and against any and all claims, actions, causes of action, demands, judgments, liability, damages (to persons or property), injuries, losses (to persons or property), costs or expenses of any type which may be sustained by such entrant or any other party in connection with (I) the participation in this Sweepstakes or (II) the receipt, enjoyment, possession, ownership, use or misuse of the Prize or of any other prize that may be awarded hereunder. Each actual Prize recipient hereby acknowledges, agrees and understands that he/she shall bear sole responsibility for the reporting and prompt and full payment of any and all applicable federal, state and local taxes that may be owed in connection with the receipt, possession or use of the Prize (or of any other prize that may be awarded hereunder). Furthermore, and to the fullest extent consistent with applicable law, each actual Prize recipient hereby specifically grants permission to Sponsor and Showtime to use his/her name, age, city, state, photograph, likeness (actual or simulated) and/or voice for any and all advertising, marketing, promotional, publicity or other legitimate commercial purposes, without paying any obligation on the part of Sponsor or Showtime (1) to pay any additional compensation (of any kind or amount) to such entrant or (2) to seek or obtain the approval of such entrant.

DISPUTES
Each entrant into this Sweepstakes hereby expressly agrees, irrevocably and in perpetuity, that: (a) any and all disputes, claims, actions, and causes of action arising out of or in connection with this Sweepstakes, or any prize awarded hereunder, shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action, and any judicial proceeding shall be brought and shall take place exclusively in a federal or state court located within King County in the State of Washington (with each Sweepstakes entrant hereby specifically agreeing to submit to the exclusive personal and subject matter jurisdiction and venue of such courts); (b) any and all claims, judgments, damages and awards shall be limited strictly to actual out-of-pocket costs actually incurred by the Sweepstakes entrant and paid to a third party, including costs associated with entering this Sweepstakes, but excluding any attorneys' fees; (c) under no circumstances shall any Sweepstakes entrant be permitted to obtain awards for, and each Sweepstakes entrant hereby waives any and all rights to claim, punitive, exemplary, special, incidental, indirect, consequential and/or other damages, other than for actual out-of-pocket expenses actually incurred by such entrant and paid to a third party; and (d) each Sweepstakes entrant hereby waives any and all rights to have any damages award multiplied or otherwise increased. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Rules, or the respective rights and obligations of the Sweepstakes entrants and Sponsor in connection with the Sweepstakes, shall be governed exclusively by, and construed exclusively in accordance with: (i) the laws of the State of Washington, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules or provisions (whether of the State of Washington or of any other jurisdiction) that would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the State of Washington, and (ii) the federal laws of the United States of America.

Californication Wiki Fan Lit Sweepstakes

sugarboots — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:51:39 CDT

◄ Back to home: Californication TV Series

CALIFORNICATION WIKI FAN LIT SWEEPSTAKES

Prove to Californication fans all over the world that your pen is mightier than your sword! The instructions are short n' simple: submit a Californication Season One recap in 25 words or less! (Uh-oh. Got writer's block? Refresh with the Californication Season One episode guide.)

Think *you* can do it? Sign in or join this site, and then click the blue button below to add your entry to the Californication Wiki Fan Lit Sweepstakes.

CONTEST EXTENDED! All entries must be received on or before FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2008 at 11:59:59 pm PT.

PRIZES YOU COULD WIN

"LA" Handmade Journal	"Four-letter Word/“Pay Up” Mug	"4-letter Word/“Pay Up” Coasters


Californication Season One DVD		Temptation: Music From Californication

Grand Prize (1 awarded):

Californication gift pack of limited-edition items created by students at the Savannah College of Art and Design

Californication Season One DVD set

Californication Season One soundtrack.

First Prizes (4 awarded):

Californication Season One DVD set

Californication Season One soundtrack

DATES YOU NEED TO KNOW	Sweepstakes begins 9:00:01 am PT Monday, September 15, 2008
	Entries must be received on or before Friday, October 3, 2008 at 11:59:59 pm PT
	Drawing for the winners will happen the week of October 12, 2008. Winner(s) will be randomly chosen from all eligible entries submitted.
	See Official Rules for additional information

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READY TO RUMBLE?
ADD YOUR 25-WORD SEASON 1 RECAP NOW!

See Official Rules for alternative means of entry.

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