Hank Quote-a-Thon!This is a featured page

Hank Quote-a-Thon! - Californication WikiCandor Is His Middle Name

You never know what's going to come out of Hank's mouth: from scathing one-liners to jaded verbal diarrhea, he's got an arsenal of words aimed steadily at anyone who triggers them -- even complete strangers! Gather up your collection of laugh-out-loud, lewd, priceless, OMG! quotes and share them here. Click the EasyEdit button to add your favorite zingers!
SugarbootsUser name: Sugarboots
Location: Seattle, WA

 My favorite Hank line: "To quote The Clash, should I stay or should I rock the casbah?"
Said to:
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction: I think this line is genius!

SugarbootsUser name: Sugarboots
Location: Seattle, WA
 My favorite Hank line: You can't snort a line of coke off a woman’s a** and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it's not gentlemanly.
Said to:
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction: Well put, Hank. I think that's true!
Add your profile pic here!User name:
MiaWantsMe
Location:
Santa Monica, CA		 My favorite Hank line: B*****s.
Said to: Charlie
His/her reaction: Nods approval.
My immediate reaction: B*****s, indeed.
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MiaWantsMe
Location:
Santa Monica, CA
 My favorite Hank line: You're looking at me like I just finger-b****d your cat.
Said to: Meredith
His/her reaction: Sting.
My immediate reaction: He probably shouldn't have said that. What if she's like a "cat lady"?
Hank Quote-a-Thon! - Californication WikiUser name:
MiaWantsMe
Location:
Santa Monica, CA		 My favorite Hank line: She's got a nose ring too. You know what that means.
Said to: Charlie
His/her reaction: No, I don't.
My immediate reaction: Is it humanly possibly to "take in the nose?"
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MiaWantsMe
Location:
Santa Monica, CA		 My favorite Hank line: She's beyond ballsy.
Said to: Charlie
His/her reaction: You are correct.
My immediate reaction: That word, ballsy, really does describe Mia Lewis.
Add your profile pic here!User name: Touchmymully
Location: Jackson, MI
 My favorite Hank line: Oh, look at the time.... The big hand says F**k, and the little hand says Off..... Good thing there's not a second hand. I'm goin' in.
Said to: The receptionist outside Charlie's office
His/her reaction: What could he say? You can't come back from a line a sweet as that.
My immediate reaction: Hank, I want to be you.
Add your profile pic here!User name:Docturnal
Location:
My favorite Hank line: "So not only are you a cadaverous slut, but you also have sh***y taste in movies"
Said to: Sandy Carr (Caramel coated, chrome domed directors wife)
His/her reaction: ouch and anger
My immediate reaction: damn, classic.
Add your profile pic here!User name:kinetickyle
Location: Oklahoma City
 My favorite Hank line: I just get so lonely sometimes. I need a hug for a moment and the moment passes. I'm good. Smell you later.
Said to: Karen while using her to hide from Sandy Carr at the fundraiser.
His/her reaction: Utter confusion and more than a little embarassment.
My immediate reaction: When is the next opportunity for me to use that line?
Add your profile pic here!User name:DCALIVE
Location:
My favorite Hank line: I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.
Said to: An apple computer
His/her reaction: its a damn computer
My immediate reaction: Absolutely hilarioius. Glad to see Hank writing again, and glad to know to keep him away from my sister
Add your profile pic here!User name: Chariot13
Location: Boston, MA		 My favorite Hank line: I love women. I have all their albums.
Said to:
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction: I hate him. But I love him.
Add your profile pic here!User name:badboygr
Location: Greece		 My favorite Hank line: A morning of awkwardness is
far better than a night of loneliness
Said to: The blog
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction: That's a big truth
Add your profile pic here!User name:
Location: 		My favorite Hank line: "Hey,Runkulus Maximus"
Said to: Charlie
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction: Good quote as usual!
Add your profile pic here!User name:
Location: 		My favorite Hank line: "Oh, kiss the tip!"
Said to:
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction: That was funny.
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Location:		 My favorite Hank line: Well, you should've called. I wouldn't have answered, but you coulda left a message, which I would've quickly erased.
Said to: Bill
His/her reaction: None.
My immediate reaction: Hilarious.
Add your profile pic here!User name:Sligsixty
Location:Brooklyn,NY		 My favorite Hank line: Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile you f*****g douche!
Said to: His reflection
His/her reaction: Flashes a huge fake grin.
My immediate reaction: Amazed.
Add your profile pic here!User name: Avrg_joe
Location: ep5		 My favorite Hank line: "Do you want me to want you to suck my c*ck"
Said to: Bill
His/her reaction: change subject
My immediate reaction: Hahahaha Another one to hank
Add your profile pic here!User name: Avrg_joe
Location:		 My favorite Hank line: "wo wo wo what the f**k was that, you just blew me off, you think i can't afford this penile implant on wheels"
Said to: car sales lady he screws in the next scene, in the new porsche he buys
His/her reaction: typical sales cover up well try to cover up
My immediate reaction: what a b**** gold digger.
Add your profile pic here!User name: Avrg_joe
Location:
My favorite Hank line:[People] seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn, you know. And people don’t write anymore, they blog; instead of talking, they text; no punctuation, no grammar. LOL this and LMFAO that. You know it just seems to me that it’s just a bunch of stupid people psuedo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the king’s English.
Said to: Henry Rollins in "LOL"
His/her reaction: "Yet you're part of the problem, blogging with the best of them"... Hank's reply, "Hence, my self-loathing" then takes a swig of liquor.
My immediate reaction: Nice one.
Add your profile pic here!User name: Avrg_joe
Location:		 My favorite Hank line:I love all women. I love you. I'll make a run at you... Krusty. I will!
Said to: Grocery store clerk
His/her reaction: Indifferent, yet annoyed.
My immediate reaction: Priceless.
Add your profile pic here!User name: RicGold
Location: Manchester, UK		 My favorite Hank line: Yo K-Fed, the little man in the boat, he's up here! That's where he is [demonstrates]. Right here...
Said to: Husband of the girl in the first scene of the pilot episode
His/her reaction: He's too busy arguing with his wife and I don't think he get's it anyway...
My immediate reaction: Genius!
Add your profile pic here!User name: omnipredation
Location: USA
 My favorite Hank line: "Oh, and it'd be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the White album, but I haven't quite mastered that yet."
Said to: Bill-bo-Bagins and Karen
His/her reaction: Bill shrugs it off as usual and Karen hides a smile..
My immediate reaction: Real men of Genius...
Add your profile pic here!User name: 9Catsz
Location: USA		 My favorite Hank line: "Smell you later."
Said to: Karen
His/her reaction: I think she loves it too.
My immediate reaction: I love it.
Add your profile pic here!User name: 9Catsz
Location: USA		 My favorite Hank line: "You sure you don't have a grabass appointment with an alter boy?"
Said to: Bill in a dream
His/her reaction: "There's plenty of time for that." Then he checks out Hank's package.
My immediate reaction: Dayum Hank's funny and I love his nutty dreams.
Add your profile pic here!User name:Jarmusch
Location:Romania		 My favorite Hank line:"Come again...so to speak!"
Said to:Gym girl.
His/her reaction:Smile.
My immediate reaction:LOL
Add your profile pic here!User name:tequilasunrise7
Location:canada		 My favorite Hank line: "What did I do? I handled the f*** outta that shit!"
Said to: Karen after telling her Becca got her period
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction: laughed my ass off... perfect delivery!
Add your profile pic here!User name: MrMoodysMadness
Location:US of A
 My favorite Hank line:"Consider yourself defiled.."
Said to: Asian broad hes "satisfying" when he has to rescue Becca from the valley party.
His/her reaction: "Your an a$$hole" and she throws up a dour face as Hank leaves her in his bed and zooms out the door.
My immediate reaction: Im gonna use that line alot, this i know.
Add your profile pic here!User name: MrMoodysMadness
Location:US of A
 My favorite Hank line: "Rectum... Damn near killed 'em.."
Said to: Himself, in reference to the guy in the rascal in episode 1/Season 2.
His/her reaction: he smirks.
My immediate reaction: "Whats a pro-lapsed rectum?" hahaha.
Add your profile pic here!User name: MrMoodysMadness
Location:US of A
 My favorite Hank line: "A BRONER!!! An unintentional male inspired b*ner.. thats the word I'm looking for"
Said to:Charlie
His/her reaction: Utter amazement and shock as usual.
My immediate reaction: "That's what that's called!!!"
Add your profile pic here!User name: Martijn
Location: Amsterdam, Holland
 My favorite Hank line:Life is too short to dance with fat girls
Said to:dont remember
His/her reaction: neither
My immediate reaction: Life is all about priorities
Add your profile pic here!User name:
Location:		 My favorite Hank line:I like to think of my self as having a twelve inch cock but it doesn make it so , 2 inches shy
Said to:Sonias Husband
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction:I nearly pissed my self so funny was it
Add your profile pic here!User name: Zatomas
Location: Bologna, Italy
 My favorite Hank line: "And may the force be with you my preppy-goth princess! Ande, hey, whatever you are, don't be another brick in the wall!"
Said to: Becca
His/her reaction: Went out for her first day at the High School
My immediate reaction: "Star Wars and Pink Floyd? Together?!? AWESOME! That's how I'd like my parents talked to me!"
Add your profile pic here!User name: mericherry
Location: Bucharest, Romania		 My favorite Hank line: "You know what I miss most about…[us]…well, aside from Becca of course…I miss your smell. [Karen: That’s it?] When you left I didn’t wash the sheets because I didn’t want to lose that completely…you. And it fucked me up for a long time because I would wake up and I’d smell you and I’d think you were there. And my heart would break all over again."
Said to: Karen
His/her reaction: loving smile (the one she gives him whenever he says something adorable to her)
My immediate reaction: wow!
Add your profile pic here!User name: Keyvan
Location: Holland
 My favorite Hank line: I like it here, it's nice. The sun is chirping, the birds are shining and the water is wet... Life is good sweetheart, life is good (S. 2, Ep. 12, End scene)
Said to: Becca
His/her reaction: smile
My immediate reaction: sweet
Add your profile pic here!User name: Keyvan
Location: Holland
 My favorite Hank line: I consider that whole area, general area, like from my knees to my nipples… cock.
Said to: Karen
His/her reaction: Smile
My immediate reaction:
Add your profile pic here!User name:
Location: USA
My favorite Hank line: Good Morning LA, In the land of the lotus eaters time plays tricks on you. One minute you're dreaming, the next you're dream has become your reality. It was the best of times, if only someone had told me.
Said to: Blog S1 E3
His/her reaction:
My immediate reaction:The greatest two minutes of tv I have ever seen
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Alex978 		Latest page update: made by Alex978 , Jun 4 2009, 11:14 PM EDT (about this update About This Update Alex978 Edited by Alex978

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skitta nice one 0 Sunday, 2:23 PM EST by skitta
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My favorite Hank line: homo says WHAT?
Said to: bill
His/her reaction: what?
My immediate reaction: nice one.
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