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EPISODE 1 - "Pilot"
Episode 1: "Pilot"
Original air date: 8/13/2007

Directed by: Stephen Hopkins

Written by: Tom Kapinos

Guest Star(s): Amy Price-Francis (Meredith), Pamela Adlon (Marcy), Michelle Nordin (Nun/Heather), Camille Langfield (Sandy)

Synopsis: We meet Hank for the first time. He sleeps with a few women, proposes to Karen, embarasses Becca at a party in front of her peers. All in a few day's work for Hank Moody.


EPISODE STATS

Number of women Hank sleeps withNumber of women Hank sleeps with: 3 (and sees another naked)


Number of times Karen rejects HankNumber of times Karen rejects Hank: Too many times


Hank Moody | David Duchovny in CalifornicationNumber of times Hank crosses the line: Never


Number of times Hank's fame gets him somethingNumber of times Hank's fame gets him something: Once (it beds Mia)





TALK ABOUT THIS EPISODE
OF CALIFORNICATION		 Hank Moody's Little Black Book | Californication
NunName: Heather aka Hot Blonde / Blow Job Nun

Age: 27

Occupation: Hot wife of K-Fed like cuckold.

How they met: Concert at the Bowl.

Location of act: Her PCH abode.

Kink factor: She woke Hank up as he was dreaming about being serviced by a nun.

Pillow talk: Hank says he needs a "GPS" to find her clitoris.

Repercussions: Hank's trusty 911 is bashed in by K-Fed.
Episode 1 - "Pilot" - Californication WikiName: Mia Lewis

Age: 16

Occupation: Student

How they met: Book Store

Location of act: Hank's bed

Kink factor: A couple punches to the face.

Pillow talk: "Oww."
Repercussions: Hank's now in a world of shit.

Name: Defile Me Girl

Age: 31

Occupation: Barfly

How they met: At Marat the fateful night of Hank's Meredith diatribe.

Location of act: Hank's bed

Kink factor: A lot of wet, shiny skin.

Pillow talk: "Consider yourself defiled."

Repercussions: Smelling like "p----" according to Karen
BROWSE THROUGH THE REST OF HANK'S LBB
PROGRESS ON HANK'S WRITER'S BLOCK
  • Types one bad word into his computer.
  • Says no to blog job.




PROGRESS ON HANK'S
FAMILY LIFE
  • Asks Karen to marry him instead of Bill







HANK'S HARSHEST WISECRACKS

  • His anti-Meredith manifesto.
  • "Yo K-Fed, the little man in the boat, he's up here. That's where he is (demonstration)"
  • "I should hide under your c*** - he'd never find me there."
  • "So not only are you a cadaverous lay, you have s****y taste in movies."
  • "Oh, I know that look. That's the look that shrivels me testes."
  • "He's a ****ing dialtone!"
  • "Don't let the door hit you on your soon-to-be huge *** on the way out."
  • "God fordbid you should miss a ****ing call! Dick!"
  • "She takes after her mother. The make-up and the slutty clothes."
  • "Consider yourself defiled."

HANK VS. HANK
Which Hank is winning this episode? Provide proof below!
DEVIL HANK
 ANGEL HANK
  • Beats up guy who's talking on his cell phone in the middle of the movie theater







  • Saves Becca from being corrupted at a party